


Missouri on her mind

by sakurachan811



Series: The Renegade Files [8]
Category: G.I. Joe: Renegades
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Heavy Angst, Implied Relationships, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25137265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakurachan811/pseuds/sakurachan811
Summary: They were a motley crew by far: One sadsack Sergeant, one metalhead mechanic, one agoraphobic Asian Daria, one self-righteous redhead, and a ninja up in that tree.I've spent way too much time with Tunnel Rat.
Series: The Renegade Files [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1815079
Kudos: 3





	Missouri on her mind

**Author's Note:**

> This also takes place during Tradition

Who knew Duke still has an accent? he doesn't normally but when he was so sick they thought he was going to die again dammit, he has got to stop pulling this shit.  
He told them-

"Names Conrad" rolls of his tongue in the way of someone who's introduced themselves that way for years and years.  
He stops then, closes his eyes, this close she can how long his lashes are, sees them brush his cheeks.  
She gets nervous when he closes them too long.  
His eyes flutter open again, he rubs at them.  
He takes a breath, swallows starts again.  
"My pa died when I was real small, I don't remember him all that well"  
Stops again visibly struggles with it, the memory whatever it is.  
"Then mama remarried, she was so happy that day" She tries to picture it, a young widow then.

He leans more heavily on her, his skin burning.  
He lets out a tired gusty sigh, his lungs like bellows.  
Remembering with eyes closed, somewhere far away.  
His lips form A fond sweet smile.  
"Vincent was so small, he used to follow me everywhere, y'know just like a puppy my little brother."  
There's what, an eight year difference between them? She wants to look away suddenly feeling like a voyeur.  
The smile leaves, he stops inhales in preparation for what he's about to say next. When they snap open again his eyes are very blue.  
His words start running together when he says "used to get made fun of alot for m' hair n' my family being poor an all."  
Kids are cruel but-  
"They were all bigger than me so couldn't do anything about it."  
She would have never guessed.  
She tries to picture it, a younger Duke she can't.  
He laughs bitterly the sound rattles loose something important inside her brain.  
why? Something small shrieks inside her mind.  
"Those protein shakes tasted terrible but they worked. I made the Football team by junior year."  
"The Quaterback is king, so I knew they'd stop completely if- "  
why? why?  
Something feels vey, very bad she doesn't like where this story is headed at all.

He swallows, his adams apple bobbing.  
His foggy blue eyes try refocus to the here and now.  
"In the locker rooms after practice when I made QB as a Senior. I didn't know what it was for but I knew it was to break me in as the new Quarterback so I went.  
Oh god, She's heard whispers about this kind of thing happening in sports.  
Please no  
He must have been what, all of seventeen?  
Poor Duke, poor, poor, Conrad she corrects.

He swallows wetly, sounds like he's about to cry."Made me suck off the whole damn team, I didn't want to, he pined me to the lockers when I tried to fight 'em off."  
Despite the burning heat of his body, she's so, so cold inside. No more please, storytime's over, please let it be over.  
'They laughed when I cried an' I puked on the floor they had me by my hair so I couldn't-  
I didn't fight no more, didn't have it in me. I knew needed to prove I could hang, so when It was over I went home, I didn't tell anyone."  
She's going to have a to find a way talk with him about internalized victim blaming and maybe tell his parents for him, Have them make him get help because Sweet Jesus Christ.

"I needed that scholarship money real bad, I wanted to be an Engineer an' make my parents proud."  
Wait, So then he joined the Army then?  
Something isn't fitting right, he could still be an Army engineer so why?  
"Dad lost his job, company downsized. "  
Oh, she thinks oh. "After the state championships when Flint shattered my knee.Got a job, burger joint After school"  
She can't place his expression, nor can she place his tone.she's seen him happy, sad, scared, angry, confused and Zartaned mustn't forget Zartan.  
But right now his voice sounds very small and something sour unfurls low in her gut. He sounds embarrassed? No worse, he's ashamed.  
He's ashamed of his past. That's shame written all over his face. She's just never seen it on his face before.  
He speaks faster the cadence of his voice grows desperate.  
"My Knee wasn't fully healed but I had to do something."  
Panic, that's rare for Duke he was normally so stoic. He shuts his eyes looking completely drained,.  
Then suddenly he says,voice sounding small and young.  
"I was so tired of making mama cry"  
His voice sounds rough, low and wet.  
"I used to hear them at night, when they thought I was was sleeping talking about my medical bills and losing the house."

Her eyes are very dry, they hurt.

She's going to skin Flint wth a dull, rusty knife for that. She thinks with a disjointed sense of calm. But If Duke doesn't make it through this she'll kill him. She'll kill him keep Flint's beret as a trophy or a warning or both. Nobody hurts her Joe's, and they were hers that is.  
She dragged them into this mess after all.

Her heart dies in her chest as a poor excuse of small sad smile, a faded copy of something once bright and beautiful crosses his face.  
Close up like this she can almost see the man he should have become.  
"Flint tried to fix his mistake, he helped me, showed me the way to the Army. Army remade me."


End file.
